Looking Forward To Lent

--O God, who before the passion of your only-begotten Son revealed his glory upon the holy mountain: Grant to us that we, beholding by faith the light of his countenance, may be strengthened to bear our cross, and be changed into his likeness from glory to glory; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.--

Collect, BCP, Last Sunday of Epiphany.

Am looking forward to Lent this year.

My prayer life is a joke right now, my practice little better.

I have allowed the world into my heart and it has taken up residence like a cancer, distracting me from what is actually important: my relationship with Christ.

And if my relationship with Him is out of whack, how can I possibly deal with the world and all it's necessities...

Necessities like moving to a small, rural community in Southwestern Washington (my wife's hometown actually) where the folks are less than liberal, trying to find work in an area that has the highest unemployment rate in the state once I get there, figuring out how best to live and co-habitate with my parent-in-laws, navigating a bankruptcy, being a good spouse, being a supportive mother, being a responsible daughter-in-law/sister-in-law, taking good care of my pets, packing, working, sleeping, eating...

None of this flows for shit unless I'm right with God...

So I got mad at Him.

Yelled at Him. Hollered indignantly at Him about how I suddenly couldn't seem to see what He wanted of me, where He wanted me to go, what I was supposed to be doing. Cried, ranted and generally threw a hissy-fit...

Course none of this was His fault.

Never is.

The fault lay with me being off my game.

Discerning God's voice is easy when one has a solid prayer life, worship life and practice. He never stops talking, but it is up to us to do the work of listening.

And it is work, make no mistake.

I had just been working hard at all the wrong things in all the wrong ways.

But since God is Good/Love/Grace, He threw me a couple a' bones. Communications so obvious even I couldn't miss 'em, and then tenderly enveloped me as I figured it out...

I was taking Him for granted. I got so caught up in my shit that I forgot to ask Him for help, forgot to make time to talk to Him, forgot that relationships need tending, forgot that friendship works both ways.

But I've remembered now.

Thus, I am looking forward to Lent; as a time of cleansing, re-newal and getting my shit together.

And am looking forward to spending some real quality time with my friend.

-peace

Mindfulness and Setting Good Examples: Epiphany 4

--Now concerning food sacrificed to idols: we know that "all of us possess knowledge." Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. Anyone who claims to know something does not yet have the necessary knowledge; but anyone who loves God is known by him.

Hence, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that "no idol in the world really exists," and that "there is no God but one." Indeed, even though there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth-- as in fact there are many gods and many lords-- yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

It is not everyone, however, who has this knowledge. Since some have become so accustomed to idols until now, they still think of the food they eat as food offered to an idol; and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. "Food will not bring us close to God." We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if others see you, who possess knowledge, eating in the temple of an idol, might they not, since their conscience is weak, be encouraged to the point of eating food sacrificed to idols? So by your knowledge those weak believers for whom Christ died are destroyed. But when you thus sin against members of your family, and wound their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food is a cause of their falling, I will never eat meat, so that I may not cause one of them to fall.--

1 Corinthians 8:1-13*

I love this passage.

And I love history, as seen in Scripture.

Why?

I love the latter, mostly for it's unique ability to showcase the amazing continuity of the human experience; continuity that brings me great comfort.

The former?

Because it is a lovely, loving, long-winded way to say, 'It is your responsibility to set a good example in the Lord, and to be mindful of the building up of your brothers and sisters in the Way'

Especially when you know better than they...

--Therefore, if food is a cause of their falling, I will never eat meat, so that I may not cause one of them to fall.--

So...

While I am not planning on going off meat anytime soon, (I tend to eat very little anyway), I have taken a look at my habits and have decided to begin the deliberate process of eliminating some of the worse ones.

Thus, a cessation of cigarette smoking, (tho' I plan to smoke moderately from a good old fashioned tobacco pipe... a 'Juno' movie fetish my wife got started, anyway...) and a slow weaning off of 'you know what', which will be accompanied by a small increase in my head-meds (Hurray...Not!). Also, I plan on trying to cultivate the 'cheap date' alcohol tolerance level, thus/so as to only ever drink two drinks when drinking and to try mostly not drinking at all...

I know, I know, it sounds like a lot, but it's not, not really...

It's a taking off, as opposed to a taking on. And I'm pretty sure I'll feel lighter for having done it...

plus...

I'm tired.

Really, really tired.

And it just suddenly seems easier to simplify everything, up to and including the things I do/put into myself. To have as little to monitor as possible.

To turn as much of my energy/focus towards things that are simple...

Things that are clean.

It is here that Paul's admonishment and reminder feels closest to me.

We must remember that not all are at the same place along the Way. Some of the Body are further along in wisdom and maturity, some are closer to the beginning. Corporeal age has nothing to do with the maturity of one's Faith in Christ, nor does length of time spent in community (ie: how long one has been going to 'church', how long one has been Baptized etc.). Intention, discernment, prayer, willingness and humility seem to go further towards opening one's heart; surely the point of the journey, as only an open heart is truly capable of compassion and love.

As we are one Body, those who have traveled further in maturity (with Christ's help) have a responsibility to help make the journey of all others as un-troubled as possible. If by our conscious example and choices we can ease the path of any walking the Way, then we are obligated to do so.

If we're not doing this, we need to tend a little closer to our own footsteps along the Way...

and pray much more ceaselessly for God's Grace and Help.

Which we all should be doing anyway...

and we know it.

-peace


*RCL Lectionary reading for the Fourth Sunday of Epiphany, Feb 1, 2009.

Gone Fishin':An Early Sunday Blog 1-24-09

--Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news."

As Jesus passed along the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the sea-- for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, "Follow me and I will make you fish for people." And immediately they left their nets and followed him. As he went a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John, who were in their boat mending the nets. Immediately he called them; and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men, and followed him.--

Mark 1:14-20

*sigh...

no pic' this blog, as my wife's computer is not letting me have that option...

sorry kids, you'll just have to use your imaginations...

here goes.

I'm tired,

and I'm gonna go fishin'.

After 15 years in Seattle: one divorce, one heavy break-up, one business failure, a decade back-stage, one religious conversion, one bachelor's degree, four ministries, three loves and one marriage later...

I'm out'a here,

come April 30th...

come Hell or high water.

I'll miss everyone and everything that I love in/of Seattle...

but sometimes it's better to miss something you love.

Sometimes sacrifice bleeds you clean.

Thus the Gospel example of Epiphany 2, 2009.

Simon and Andrew, dropping those nets, with James and John right behind them...leaving all the familiar things they held dear, that they loved: to walk the Way with Christ. A Way unknown to them, a mystery, a chance and a sacrifice with no known outcome...

with only the flame Jesus stirred in their hearts to sustain them...this terrifying, beautiful, inexplicable fire.

I feel that fire,

and I desire to burn in it as completely as I can manage this life…

and I find that I deeply desire some serious quiet in which to do it.

I fell in love with my wife… a good and honorable thing, a thing which to honor righteously one must attend to like a garden.

If God hadn’t given me this gardener’s gig, I probably would’ve entered the cloister…

if one would’a had me that is.

However, I ache for the open spaces, the pasture, orchard and garden, the small town main street…a place where folks know each other, whether they like one another or not.

A place I can dig in and make a difference as I walk…

A place to slow down and listen for the still, small voice of God.

I think God has led me towards that place which for me will unite me more firmly to His will…

I will miss y’all,

But then I’ve kinda already been gone.

-peace

Psalm for a Sunday:Feast of Christ the King

Jubilate Deo*

--Be joyful in the LORD, all you lands;
serve the LORD with gladness
and come before his presence with a song.

Know this: The LORD himself is God;
he himself has made us, and we are his;
we are his people and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving;
go into his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and call upon his Name.

For the LORD is good;
his mercy is everlasting;
and his faithfulness endures from age to age.--

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as
it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever.

Amen.

-peace


*Psalm 100 Page 729, BCP, Christ the King Sunday, 2008

For the Feast of All Saints: Matthew 5

"Day of the Dead Madonna," by Lago Vista, Texas, artist Ladislao Loera

We actually only read Matt 5:1-12 from the RCL Lectionary today...

That is the 'pretty' part, the rest is much more challenging.

For me, the stuff about 'divorced women' strikes an uncomfortable cord, as does the idea of ripping my eye out for appreciating a beautiful woman.

But I guess after I'd had to rip them both out, that particular sin would no longer be troubling me.

And now... The Sermon on the Mount, with no punches pulled.

--When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:

‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

‘Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

‘Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

‘Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

‘Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

‘Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

‘You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.

‘You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hidden. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

‘You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not murder”; and “whoever murders shall be liable to judgement.” But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgement; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, “You fool”, you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.

‘It was also said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.” But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

‘Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, “You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.” But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be “Yes, Yes” or “No, No”; anything more than this comes from the evil one.

‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.

‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.--

Matthew 5

-peace

Word:On Throwing Stones

--Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgement on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things. You say, ‘We know that God’s judgement on those who do such things is in accordance with truth.’ Do you imagine, whoever you are, that when you judge those who do such things and yet do them yourself, you will escape the judgement of God? Or do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? But by your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath, when God’s righteous judgement will be revealed. For he will repay according to each one’s deeds: to those who by patiently doing good seek for glory and honour and immortality, he will give eternal life; while for those who are self-seeking and who obey not the truth but wickedness, there will be wrath and fury. There will be anguish and distress for everyone who does evil, the Jew first and also the Greek, but glory and honour and peace for everyone who does good, the Jew first and also the Greek. For God shows no partiality.

All who have sinned apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but the doers of the law who will be justified. When Gentiles, who do not possess the law, do instinctively what the law requires, these, though not having the law, are a law to themselves. They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, to which their own conscience also bears witness; and their conflicting thoughts will accuse or perhaps excuse them on the day when, according to my gospel, God, through Jesus Christ, will judge the secret thoughts of all.--

Romans 2:1-16

--Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him and he sat down and began to teach them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, they said to him, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’ They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus straightened up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, sir.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.’--

John 8:2-11

Careful when throwing stones...

you just might hit yourself.

-peace

Some of my St. Francis Celebration

1596 -- The Stigmatization of St. Francis; Caravaggio

This is the entire lectionary for Oct 5th, 2008 Sun; Celebration of the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi.

In other words, this is what I will hear read, twice, tomorrow at my cathedral. Twice because I'm serving the Altar at both the
9 o'clock and 11 o'clock services...

...and it's too good not to give it all to y'all.

As you read the lessons and the Gospel, try to see the patterns that connect the readings. There is usually a main one (in this case-vineyards as signifying fruits of the Spirit in human hearts and actions, and the necessity of Christ's/God's Grace and Love to make this fruitfulness possible) and a few minor ones stemming from the main. The lectionary seeks out these patterns and assigns them to a series of days through out the Church year that roughly coincides with the quasi-narrative pattern the New Testament cycles.

ahem...

As I listen to my fellow Followers read these timeless words tomorrow, my church will be filled with the pets of the parish, as on St. Francis Day (which is actually today, Oct 4th) anyone who wants can bring their pets to the cathedral to get a blessing from the priests. They'll even bless pictures of pets that wouldn't enjoy being in church and stuffed animals for the children and gifts for the ill.



No matter how frustrating my parish is sometimes, well, most times lately, I still fucking love it.

And I'm always grateful to be an Episcopalian... thanks Jesus, you rock.

The Lord be with you.

And also with you.

Let us Pray...

Collect

--Almighty and everlasting God, you are always more ready to hear than we to pray, and to
give more than we either desire or deserve: Pour upon us the abundance of your mercy,
forgiving us those things of which our conscience is afraid, and giving us those good things for
which we are not worthy to ask, except through the merits and mediation of Jesus Christ our
Savior; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.--

First Reading

--Let me sing for my beloved my love-song concerning his vineyard: My beloved had a
vineyard on a very fertile hill. He dug it and cleared it of stones, and planted it with choice
vines; he built a watchtower in the midst of it, and hewed out a wine vat in it; he expected it
to yield grapes, but it yielded wild grapes. And now, inhabitants of Jerusalem and people of
Judah, judge between me and my vineyard. What more was there to do for my vineyard that I
have not done in it? When I expected it to yield grapes, why did it yield wild grapes? And now
I will tell you what I will do to my vineyard. I will remove its hedge, and it shall be devoured;
I will break down its wall, and it shall be trampled down. I will make it a waste; it shall not
be pruned or hoed, and it shall be overgrown with briers and thorns; I will also command the
clouds that they rain no rain upon it. For the vineyard of the LORD of hosts is the house of
Israel, and the people of Judah are God’s pleasant planting; the LORD expected justice, but
saw bloodshed; righteousness, but heard a cry!--

Isaiah 5:1-7

Hear what the Spirit is saying to God's people.

Thanks be to God

Second Reading

--If anyone else has reason to be confident in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth
day, a member of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew born of Hebrews; as
to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law,
blameless. Whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More
than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus
my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in
order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that
comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God
based on faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his
sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from
the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press
on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Beloved, I do not consider
that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining
forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of
God in Christ Jesus.--

Philippians 3:4b-14

Hear what the Spirit is saying to God's people.

Thanks be to God

The Holy Gospel

--Jesus said, “Listen to another parable. There was a landowner who planted a vineyard, put a
fence around it, dug a wine press in it, and built a watchtower. Then he leased it to tenants and
went to another country. When the harvest time had come, he sent his slaves to the tenants to
collect his produce. But the tenants seized his slaves and beat one, killed another, and stoned
another. Again he sent other slaves, more than the first; and they treated them in the same way.
Finally he sent his son to them, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ But when the tenants saw
the son, they said to themselves, ‘This is the heir; come, let us kill him and get his inheritance.’
So they seized him, threw him out of the vineyard, and killed him. Now when the owner of the
vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants?” They said to him, “He will put those wretches
to a miserable death, and lease the vineyard to other tenants who will give him the
produce at the harvest time.” Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the scriptures: ‘The
stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; this was the Lord’s doing, and it is
amazing in our eyes’? Therefore I tell you, the kingdom of God will be taken away from you
and given to a people that produces the fruits of the kingdom.” The one who falls on this stone
will be broken to pieces; and it will crush anyone on whom it falls.” When the chief priests
and the Pharisees heard his parables, they realized that he was speaking about them. They
wanted to arrest him, but they feared the crowds, because they regarded him as a prophet.--

Matthew 21: 33-46

The Gospel of the Lord.

Praise to you, Lord Christ.

Praise indeed.

Amen and...

-peace